Thank You~!

Somehow, while I was away, I managed to get to 100 total likes on my posts! When I first saw it, I couldn’t believe it. I mean, me? With that many likes? Naw… It couldn’t be, right?

But all of you who’ve been following my ramblings, listening to me talk about all sorts of nonsense, you’re the ones who’ve got me to this point. Thank you so much! It makes me feel much better just knowing there are people out there listening to what I have to say, you know? Do you ever get that way, too?

Alrighty, so, here’s my update for the weekend. I’ve pretty much moved in with my “boyfriend” (he apparently dislikes being labeled as such, but more because he hates labeling people in general). We just got a new TV (which is awesome, by the way) and a PS3 with a handful of new games plus what he has on his account. It’s been fun, especially because I surprised him (and I use the term very loosely) with the new Tomb Raider game, which he’s been playing almost nonstop since we got everything set up last night. I got a new RPG, Atelier Ayesha, which has been interesting. And, by interesting, I mean there are irritating voices and a very slow beginning.

The only problem with my moving in has been that we do have to spend time apart during the week. It’s only because there’s a level of professionalism we need to keep at work and, more importantly, transportation issues. Neither of us has a car right now and taxis get expensive after a while, so we’ve been restricted to walking, hitching a ride with other people on the ship, or giving in and getting a cab. I try not to go for taxis as much as possible, mostly because I just don’t like to rely on them after one left me hanging all morning (did you know there are people who STILL don’t own cell phones? #FirstWorldProblems)

Well, now that I think about it, I guess it really isn’t a problem. I just have to learn how to deal with it and use me time again. Which is weird because we pretty much smothered each other in the beginning. I don’t know how many other couples do that and, frankly, I don’t really care. I just want this to work. Which, for me, means I need to have time to devote to my physical fitness (the PRT- physical readiness test- is just around the corner), studying for ESWS (Enlisted Surface Warfare Specialist), and just taking care of myself as a person.

It’s weird, but I’m starting to see myself as someone of worth. Is it through the number of likes I’ve gotten here? Partially. But I think it’s more the way I’ve been able to rationally organize my thoughts here while still keeping myself true to what I’m feeling. It’s making me a better person, being able to both recognize and categorize my emotions without cheapening them or pretending they’re something they’re not. There’s something truly liberating about being this way and I don’t plan to stop here. This is just the beginning.

I’m going to keep writing, keep drawing, keep thinking, and start doing. And I hope to keep seeing you along the way~! <3

Level Up!

Your Fire Controllman wants to learn the move, “CSOSS.”

Delete a move to make room for “CSOSS?”

>Yes

No

Which move will you delete to make room for “CSOSS?”

AN/SPY-1D Technician

3M

>Common Sense

Basic DC

Delete “Common Sense” for “CSOSS?”

And… POOF!

Your Fire Controllman forgot “Common Sense” and learned “CSOSS!”

:B

 

I don’t know where this little derp came from, but I’m keeping it.

Mature Decisions

It seems I’ve made a few today.

The first was gritting my teeth and doing as much of my maintenance today as possible. I got a lot done, I feel proud of the work I did, and I feel like I’m earning a little more respect in ER09.

The second was going off-ship for lunch. I know it seems like a small thing, but being able to leave for an hour to go grab lunch away from the people I work with on a daily basis was such a relief. I may have to do that more often.

I decided to try to keep away from my boyfriend today. It’s more because we both have work to do and I know that we’ll both just distract each other. This decision ended up being for the best because I had a lot of work to take care of. Plus, he’s been working all day and most of the night, so he needs sleep. Which is why, when he texted earlier, I told him that, as much as I’d like to see him, I think he should get some rest. We have the weekend coming up pretty soon, so him coming over right now doesn’t make any sense, you know?

But, yeah, today’s been pretty good. I might even go so far as to say it’s the best work day I’ve had all year.

Love y’all.

An Update of Sorts

Because I’ve been absolutely terrible at making this a daily thing. My bad.

So, the cake pops went over great. When I made them, I used a little trick my dad taught me to make them stay moist longer (substituting two egg whites for an egg), so they were super delicious. I used boxed cake mix, so I can’t claim that 100%, but they were good. I used some sort of triple chocolate cake mix and topped it with melted white chocolate dyed pink.

Also, the boyfriend thing has been going amazingly well. I’m not going to ramble about it (even though I probably could), but I can tell you that I’m ridiculously happy with him right now and I hope it stays that way for a long time. He’s just the right blend of sweet and snarky for me.

Now, on to an update on Afterlife. This’ll be quick. There’s nothing new to report. No real progress, nothing of note to inform you of. I haven’t really been able to think about it lately. I’m not giving it up, though. I’m just taking a moment to reconsider some of my plot and what exactly I plan to do with it. I mean, it’s a great idea, in theory. It’s putting it down, making it more than just an abstract grouping of events and ideas that makes it tough, you know? Plus, I’ve had a bit of a healthy distraction lately.

Work’s been going all right, too. Shockingly. I’ve managed to finally show my boss that I do my maintenance right and that I’m not a complete piece of shit sailor. So, we get along now. Yay. Also, my equipment (my real job) is getting some work done next week and I’ll probably be living on the ship for that. Meaning, of course, that I won’t be able to update very often. It sucks, but it’s the only way I can stay in my gear without causing problems for both of my work centers. So, I’m going to be very sleep-deprived and overworked, but definitely thrilled to be in my gear again.

And… that’s it. Hope everyone had a lovely Valentine’s Day or Thursday or whatever it is you decided to call it!

Valentine’s Baking Experiment: SUCCESS!!

 

 

The Experiment

 

Oh my gosh, guys. I’m excited for tomorrow.

I made the above cake pop (and about 20 others) for my division for Valentine’s Day and I’m soooo excited to share them with everyone.

Oh, and that date of mine? Yeah, we’re, um, a thing right now. I really, really hope it works out… I like him a lot, guys. I really, really do.

And… Yeah, I planned to seriously update, but… the cake pops have made me sleepy. I’ll get back to y’all tomorrow…

Keeping It Short

It’s already late here, so I’m going to just go over some of the major things that happened.

Nothing. Today was blissfully boring.

I can only hope tomorrow’s just as pleasant. It’d be a great end to a great week. I mean, I got my work done by Tuesday, managed to get by without any massive fights with the DCPO Work Center Supervisor, survived ATG’s attack on my gear, and even managed to fix some stuff.

There was one major thing to happen, though. I’ve been talking with the chaplain that’s been coming every week, just to get stuff off my chest and everything and, well, he started pushing the whole religious side. The thing is, the way he explained how he saw it, it made sense to me. But there’s still a massive fear of being involved in a church, setting aside time to read the Bible, making that sort of thing a habit, and, most importantly, trusting God to take care of me.

I don’t trust anyone to take care of me; I take care of myself. I mean, you can see what a bang-up job I’ve been doing lately, but I really do feel like I can’t trust anyone. The world is filled with selfish people who will screw you over just to get a slight advantage over a handful of other people. I’ve had that happen to me so many times, I don’t even want to give someone the chance. And, yes, that’s one of the main reasons I’m still scared by my “date” on Sunday. I don’t want to open up to this guy and have my heart shattered again. I couldn’t do it.

But, back to the matter at hand.

I know that God is above human pettiness and doesn’t stand to gain a thing by making me miserable, but I just can’t bring myself to let go of everything that brings me down. Sometimes, it feels like that’s all I have to hold onto, you know? Even if it’s the anchor that’s dragging me down to the bottom of the ocean, if I can’t swim, that anchor is the only thing I have to hold onto.

Wow. So much for keeping it short.

Anyway, yeah, I’ve just been thinking about it. Maybe. But, I don’t see it being something that’ll be happening anytime soon.

Letting go and taking help from someone I can’t see and whose presence I can barely feel isn’t, well, very feasible for me right now.

Study Buddies~!

So excited! I have a study partner for the E-5 exam! And he’s clearly the smartest in my work center, so I stand to gain a lot from studying with him.

Of course, there’s always the potential for disaster. Why?

Because he’s the same person I have a crush on. And he’s clearly trying to find excuses to be around me, which I really don’t mind. I just want to make sure that I don’t get in trouble. As I’ve said, dating people in the work center is a big no-no. We’ve already lost one tech that way. Of course, if I permanently become DCPO, that won’t really be a problem, huh?

Also, there’s potential for drama. I’ve been thinking about it off and on throughout the day. My ex, who is quite possibly the sweetest, kindest man in the world (he still treats me like I’m an amazing woman even though I’m not), started mailing me letters while I was on deployment last year. No one knew about this, of course; I keep the majority of my personal life personal. But, over deployment, I didn’t get a single letter and I just now got his first letter.

The problem? Every woman in my division knows about it. They haven’t told any of the guys, but I get the feeling that this is going to blow up in some way later down the line. Murphy’s Law, you know?

Oh, and, remember how I mentioned that special breed of asshole? Turns out, my day wasn’t miserable.

Quite the opposite.