Ever feel so alone, so broken, that your chest physically hurts? Like, it feels like your heart is literally falling and you’d be lucky if it actually hit the ground because the feeling of falling is just so much more frightening?
This is multiple times a day for me. I don’t know how to stop it, how to go back to the way things were before Tuesday, when I went to the hospital. I wish I’d never snapped. I wish I’d just kept it all in, never let anyone see just how bad it all hurts. I wish I could keep my heart from falling.
It feels like I’ve broken everything. Everything that was good in my life just hurts. And I know I need help. I’m not going to do anything stupid. I just want it all to go back to the way it was.
I can’t keep living like this and I don’t have a choice but to keep going forward.
I just want time to stop for a while…