On Friendship

I’ve been thinking a lot lately. Typically for me, that means the smoke detectors are going off and I should stop, drop, and roll, but, this time, I’ve managed to bypass that bit.

I have a lot of friends. Most of them aren’t near me and that makes living a normal life difficult. But there are some things about friendship that I’ve realized and I thought it might behoove me to share. Because sharing is caring, right?

So, first on the list.

Being friends doesn’t mean you trust them with everything.

I have a great number of friends that I simply cannot tell everything to. They’re gossipers and, while I understand and accept this about them, I don’t like personal things being spread around. I know lots of people who seem to think that being friends means that you trust them and can open up and tell them everything and, for a while, I thought that was true.

But I’ve realized, through a friend of mine that I’ve found I can’t trust, that I can still be friends with a person like that. I could never tell her about who I’m seeing or how I feel about someone else without her telling the world about it. But, and this might just be that I’m naive and don’t know any better, but I still like her as a person. She’s fun to be around and I care about her and her family.

Friends may come and go, but that’s no reason to stop trying to make new ones.

This has been a toughie for me and it still is. I’m in a highly transient job, being in the Navy and all. I move a lot. And I made friends a while back in Great Lakes, IL, friends that I wish I could still see because we were always able to have such wonderful fun together. But, when I transferred and they ended up on other sides of the world, I felt like there was little point in trying to make friends because they’d end up leaving or I would. And making friends just to lose them was about as appealing as sticking my head in a heated oven and slamming the door shut.

But, lately, I’ve begun to see that it’s not about that at all. Just because we don’t see each other doesn’t mean we’re not friends anymore. Just because they have other friends doesn’t mean I mean any less to them. If we aren’t always together, that’s fine. Best friends forever doesn’t have to apply to every single friendship.

 

I swear, I thought I had more to it than this. Maybe it’s just because they’re both very BIG realizations…

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