Not Funny

It’s funny how you can want to help and say something to make everything better but, when you stop to think about it, you realize that everything you could say to that person could potentially make things worse.

Now that I think about it, that’s really not funny at all.

I don’t know, I’m just tired of the world throwing it in my face that everyone I love, everyone that has a future planned for themselves, are getting hurt, while I have so little to worry about. I’m in great health (minus the migraines, of course), decent shape, reasonably attractive, and I’m not a complete moron. The only thing is, I feel like I have nowhere to go with myself sometimes. And it makes me so unbearably guilty. Here I am with absolutely no excuse, no reason why I shouldn’t be doing something amazing with my life, and I’m just stuck, sitting here on a laptop, doodling and writing like that’s going to change the world. I should be out there, helping people, doing something with myself, but I make up all these excuses and the world is just passing me by…

I know it’s wrong and I know that, because I recognize this, I should be getting up right now and doing something to change it all. I should be out finding the cure for cancer or something, you know? Ending the war. Feeding the world. Instead, I’m sitting here, with my cup of tea, lamenting my “inability” to do anything.

Some days, I just feel like a special brand of pathetic, the kind that none should aspire to be.

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