Study Buddies~!

So excited! I have a study partner for the E-5 exam! And he’s clearly the smartest in my work center, so I stand to gain a lot from studying with him.

Of course, there’s always the potential for disaster. Why?

Because he’s the same person I have a crush on. And he’s clearly trying to find excuses to be around me, which I really don’t mind. I just want to make sure that I don’t get in trouble. As I’ve said, dating people in the work center is a big no-no. We’ve already lost one tech that way. Of course, if I permanently become DCPO, that won’t really be a problem, huh?

Also, there’s potential for drama. I’ve been thinking about it off and on throughout the day. My ex, who is quite possibly the sweetest, kindest man in the world (he still treats me like I’m an amazing woman even though I’m not), started mailing me letters while I was on deployment last year. No one knew about this, of course; I keep the majority of my personal life personal. But, over deployment, I didn’t get a single letter and I just now got his first letter.

The problem? Every woman in my division knows about it. They haven’t told any of the guys, but I get the feeling that this is going to blow up in some way later down the line. Murphy’s Law, you know?

Oh, and, remember how I mentioned that special breed of asshole? Turns out, my day wasn’t miserable.

Quite the opposite.

Breaking Point

Today was terrible.

I found out that I’m stuck being DCPO for pretty much all of 2013. We have a massive inspection coming up that’s pretty much going to eat up my life. I had someone lined up and, from what I had been told by my division, I was just waiting on a designation letter. Turns out, the designation letter came in and there was no change. According to my supervisor, there were never any plans to change me out, even though I’ve done over 9 months as DCPO. I’m tired and stressed and hate everything I’m doing. I have absolutely nothing to do with my rate, am constantly treated like I’m a piece of shit because I’m a DCPO, and I can’t do anything about it.

Work’s starting to seem like a race track I’m being forced to run continuously. There’s no reward, no incentive to do well, and it just makes me tired.

I want to believe at the light at the end of the tunnel, but I think it’s just a flashlight attached to the fake rabbit.

Figures.

In Like

And, boy, does it suck.

Yeah, I know, relationships are supposed to be amazing and wonderful and lovely little things where you feel like you’re about to tie yourself into a pretzel just because he touched your arm once. And, for the most part, that was how yesterday played out. We threw snowballs and wandered around and, to anyone on the outside looking in, we must have seemed like a really cute, if strange, couple.

But I work with him. Like, directly work with him. And, for me, that’s a big no-no. It’s one thing if you’re totally separate and in different divisions and stuff, but he’s in my work center. And I don’t want to be that person who’s seeing someone in the work center. It can cause all sorts of problems.

Not to mention, I don’t have a very good track record in the boyfriend department. Things don’t tend to end well for me in that area.

So, while I don’t want to push him away, I do. And every time I try to forget about that nagging little feeling in the back of my head (and chest), something reminds me or makes it just that much harder to forget.

Like, you know how Valentine’s Day is coming up? And there are Valentine’s Day candies everywhere? Well, I was attacked by a ninja candy.

See, what happened was we were out wandering around yesterday and stopped by the grocery store because, despite being a health nut, he’s got a bit of a candy thing, so we stopped to grab some stuff since he’s still living on the ship and he told me to grab something. And I really didn’t want to since he’d pretty much paid for everything the entire day and I felt guilty about it, but he insisted, so I picked out this amazing raspberry dark chocolate that sounded really yummy (and it was).

Well, I opened it today and realized that it was a Valentine’s chocolate in disguise! And now I’m hoping that he didn’t notice it when I grabbed it because we were talking about that right beforehand and I’d mentioned that I really haven’t ever had a romantic Valentine’s Day and stuff.

Oh man… I’m turning into an actual girl again, guys. Someone make it stop… >A<

Out of the Pan

And onto the plate. No fire for me.

Just moved somewhere infinitely nicer than Blogspot. I’d pretty much just picked the first thing that popped up on Google when I was looking to start a blog. And, being the stubborn individual that I am, I refused to let people who’d gone before me into the realm of blogging tell me what to do and how lame Blogspot was.

I stand quite firmly corrected.

So, I’ve decided to move. I don’t think I’ll carry over my old posts. If you want to read them anyway (and boost my pageview count), the URL is http://superwholockian.blogspot.com

All right, a little about me.

I’m 21 years old and currently serve in the US Navy as a Fire Controllman. I’m a Petty Officer Third Class, which, for those who aren’t particularly familiar with the US Navy ranking system, means I’m enlisted. I work on the SPY-1D radar system.

But my job doesn’t define me. I’m an aspiring writer and artist, though I lean a lot more towards writing than drawing. Mostly because the niche for American anime artists is quite small and, while I love my art, I could never make it into a profession. I’m still having trouble believing I could make my stories something I do professionally. I just can’t not share my writing. Even if it isn’t that good, something inside just says to share it because, if I enjoyed writing it and reading it and editing it, odds are, the end product will be interesting to someone else, too. And I adore making other people happy through the things I do.

I don’t claim any real stereotype other than I’m a smartass

Oh, and I swear. Sorry, occupational hazard.

But, yeah, I’m a total smartass. Not necessarily smart all the time, but, if I see an opportunity for snark, I take it.

On the flip side, though, I tend to be a bit overemotional. Well, not really “a bit.” I tend to be quite overemotional. I’m working on it, but that’s a topic for another day. Most likely, one where I’ve actually been overemotional.

Well, that’s all for now. I think this is a succinct introduction.

 

 

I hope.